Thursday, 26 March 2009

To do or Not to do?

I know I have mentioned a couple of cute boys here and there
But this cute boy has some kind of a magical flair

A little bit of flirting has gone on for awhile
But the out come of it I never realized

I have always liked him that much I know
Never did I realize how much it shows

I also had a feeling he might like me too
Last night he confirmed my feeling was true

He is afriad to start something as my brother he knows
He said "darling I dont wanna screw things up with your bro"

I understand he is my bro's friend but it is so unfair
He thinks he might lose my bro too if it goes wrong somewhere

But he said lets take our time and see how things go
We could start something later on you know

So I have no choice but keep waiting I guess
Just keep flirting and hope for the best

I think its really stupid because we plan on hanging out
And I don't think my bro would care if we go out

I already told my brother that I like him so
He just keeps telling he will let him know

He keeps bugging me for him its just a joke
Little does he know... and if he does will he choke

For now all I can do is wait and see
How things turn out and what will be

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Things to be proud about?!?!

Well... this is how random my thoughts can get... But with lack of anythng else to do (because I am at work, if I was at home I would be studying) my mind wonders to all sorts of crazy things! Right now I am trying to figure that if I were to die today what would be the things I would be proud about? It is not that I have done brilliantly well in my studies or done exceptionaly well in a sport.. Wonder if I actually have things to be proud about? lets see........

*think*

1. Ok so I am proud to be a Sri Lankan
2. Proud of my school
3. The fact that I became a senior prefect
4. Proud to be a Royal fan!!!
5. The fact that I row!
6. Proud of my friends... they just awesome in every way!
7. Proud to be a member of one of the coolest families in SL.. hehe (parents, bro and sis's all included)
8. Proud to have gotten on a thomians shoulders to wave the Royal flag! ;)
9. Proud to have run on to the grounds when Royal scored the winning runs! ;) :D
10. The fact that we gave sleeping tablets to a teacher..!
11. To have represented school in a sport.. Especially the tour to Malaysia
12. To have got school colours
13. Getting through my A/Ls and the LLB 1st year!
14. Proud of the awesomest relationship I had with Lover Boy and everything we shared and did
15. Of my 18th birthday party! it was the best ever!!!
16. All the crazy things we have done in school...

well... thats as much as I can come up with now! Are these even things to be proud about??? I am anyway..

Who knows the answers?

If breaking up now is the best thing you just break up right?? Or do you just blindly carry on till you have no choice but break up??And if you choose to break up now you will have to take the blame of going out knowing very well of the threat of having to break up right?? But doesn't going out always have a risk of breaking up?? No one promises that it will be sun shine and smooth sailing all along now do they?? And if you choose to blindly carry on wont it be even harder to break up when the time comes?? So if you break up now and give a totally different reason for the break up it would be easier for the partner to get over you right?? So what if you say you like someone else or that you don't like him anymore.. Your partner will never get to know the real reason right?? It would be easier for him to get over you right ; rather than just blame the world for its cruelty??

Monday, 23 March 2009

Here goes my personality test.. :)

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Here is the analysis:
1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Here is the analysis:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

Bright and Cheerful
You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

You value your friendships: 50%
You value your friendships quite a lot but you don't like to show your feelings to others. You would rather keep your feelings to yourself than share them with your friends. You might get a pleasant surprise if you are more open about caring for people - they will probably let you know that you're special to them, too.

Here is the analysis:
Your sweetheart is like a big brother to you. He is kind and always takes good care of you. He is a dream boyfriend; gentle and compassionate, he is completely and utterly dedicated to the girl he loves. It's easy to please him because he appreciates everything you do for him. There's no need to worry about changing yourself in any way because he accepts you the way you are. When this type of man fall in love it's going to be deep and quite probably forever.

Jealousy Level: 35%
You harbor no feelings of jealousy.You are calm and often think differently compared to other people. You don't get jealous because you believe that other people's business is theirs alone. So what if they're beautiful and score all the guys? That's their luck! Some people may think of you as being a bit of a loner.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

This That and The Other


Have been so busy the past few weeks I didn't even have time to blog. Honest to god though I have been doing some kind of studies these days. But I guess it is high time since I have 63 days more for my exam... Damn it I am so fraked out!!!!! Last week I missed my lectures to go for the roy - tho; my priorities are so messed up I think. Of course I did catch up on my notes and did a bit of extra studies to compensate!

Everyone else has stopped work already in order to study. But me trying to be too smart thought I can manage and now running a race against time!

With all that work to be done I am still going for the roy-tho one day match! I am twisted aint I? But in my defence I would not be missing a lecture this time around. Plus I would get to see Lover Boy again. (pathetic I know!) Plus I am hoping Royal would win!

I have not said this before now have I? I am one of the greatest Royal College fans. Go ROYAL!!

Sigh... I know... I should get back to getting some work done without just wasting time.

P.S. - I still think the match was worth missing the lectures! :D (don't even talk about my priorities)

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Is It A Rape Or Was There Consent?

It was just past 8.oo p.m. and she was alone in the house cooking. She hates to cook just for herself but she had no choice, she was hungry and there was nothing else to eat!

She heard the front door open and close. She wondered who it could be. She knew it can't be him. He said he wont be home till around midnight.

She was right it was not him. Right in front of the door was some stranger. A tall, dark and hot stranger. "who are you? what do you want?" was all she could say before this strange man pulled out a knife. She was shocked scared and dumbstruck that all she could do was stand there. While the stranger kept getting closer with the knife in his hand she kept walking back till she was against the wall. When she finaly came around from the shock, she screamed as loud as she could as he grabbed her by the wrist. He closed her mouth with one hand held the knife against her neck from the other while pushing her against the wall and said "Shut up or I'll kill you!!!" This just only made her scream louder while struggling to get his grip off...

However much she tried to get away from him while he forcefully kissed her was all in vain as he was a strong man. But she did not give up. She tried her best to push him away and screamed at every possible moment while piece by piece her clothes were taken off and so was his.

He was so good at what he had come to do. He knew exactly what move to make, when and how. And most importantly how to make the other feel good. He had had enough practice to perfect the art.

But she did not notice his talents and was far from feeling good. She was scared, angry, crying and desparately in need to get away, which was far harder to do now, since he had pushed her on to the couch and got on top of her.

After many a struggles and screams from her and many a moves from the stranger she finaly gave up all her efforts of trying to get away and gave in to him as he smoothly entered into her.

The struggling had stopped and the screams became more of sexual nature. It was painful alright but she was enjoying it. She held his body against it to his rhythmetic movements. She knew this can't be right but it did not feel wrong either. So she let go of all resistance and gave into her temptations of enjoying everything the stranger had come to do.

After it was all over the stranger walked out of the house satisfied with himself and knowing very well that he will never see the inside of that house again.

She was still lying on the couch... naked... crying... full of hurt and hate... Hating the stranger for what he did and hating her self for actually enjoying it!

As the clock struck 11 she somehow pulled herself together and wore her clothes piece by piece and awaited his arrival. Not even god knew whether she would confide in him of what happened tonight!

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Single Mom

I had mentioned on a note on facebook on 25 rondom things about me that I feel I will be a single parent one day! And the mentioning of it lead to the following conversation with a friend last night...

Friend : why do you fear that you will be a single mom someday?

Me: I dunno... Just a feeling... I don't fear it though.. I think I quite like it!

Friend : Can I tell you something? No offence just an instinct... I think its possibly likely too...

Me : I know... anyway I told my mom if I don't marry I will adopt a kid..

Friend : You are trying to be a single mom without marrying... Happoo I don't like that!

Me : lol.. But I have a feeling I will marry.. Have about 2 kids.. Possibly a son and a daughter... And then divorce...

Friend : You have it all planned out huh? Do you think it will be lover boy?

Me : I'm not sure... I feel it might not be him... But he might be the reason for divorce!!! Anyway I have a feeling the kids would live with me after the divorce..

Friend : ummm ok... So if you feel that lover boy is the reason for divorce, why marry anyway?

Me : lol good point!

Friend : I told you are a complex person... It surprises me that we made such good friends...

Me : I think I wont see the potential threat for divorce before marriage so I'll marry!

Friend: Well... You are seeing it now!!!

Me: I am assuming! When I am marrying I will forget all of these assumptions and get married.. I will be too caught up with the moment and my husband to be!

Friend : I dunno men.. You will be unhappy neh but.. Going through the divorce and all!!

Me: Sigh... I guess so!

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Living A lie

So much to do in so little time
Words I cannot find which rhyme

So much to say not enough words
Wish I could just fly like a bird

So much to show cannot find ways
Its just an hour but seems like days

So many moments but cannot get enough
Why is life always so tough

Two different stories but just one me
I am living a lie, now I see