Thursday, 27 October 2011

Tell me

How is it possible
That one moment
That you make me feel
The happiest person alive
And the very next
You break me so much
That all I can do is cry?!

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Just wondering

Is it normal
to keep thinking
that you are not normal???
Or was I right,
And by that I mean
Am I not normal???

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

I just want to scream!!!!

I have exams in two weeks and I really don't want to study. I hate studying, I always have. I really just don't want to do this. I know I KNOW I'm better off than most others who didn't get through their exams and have to repeat and didn't do it last time and are doing two sets together; But none of you guys get it. I also know its my last exam and that I'll be a lawyer after that and then the sky is the limit. Did you think I haven't thought about all that already??? But I just don't want to do this anymore!

The worst part is I have no one to even talk about this. My friends (boy friend included) either failed their exams or are doing two sets together or is abroad or have bigger problems in life than a stupid exam! And I tried talking to my father even though he sort of understood what I was feeling he sounded so worried that I felt too bad to keep talking. My mother totally flipped and got me to promise (while almost in tears) that I will try my best at the exams. Sigh..... My sisters are too little and my brother too busy leaves me with no one.

No matter how much I complain and how much I don't want to and cry and fuss and throw a tantrum about it I know I will end up sitting for it. Everyone around me will make sure I do. Oh how I wish I had an option.

At 23 years of age I just feel like life is moving way too fast and that I'm going to be pushed into the deep blue sea even before I have learned to swim. Nope, no one seems to understand that. I wish I had a few months just 2 or 3 maybe to just sit back relax and live THE LIFE! You know to be able to sleep in till late, go out for lunch, watch a movie, randomly go on a trip down south because I want some time alone, fly kites, star gaze or do what ever the hell I want to do at what ever time I want. I just want to do these things just for a little while longer and savour the moment of joy in my life.

I just realised I am growing up way too fast. I don't want to be apart of the world out there! No don't get the wrong idea its not like I have not worked before. I have. Its just that it was nice to know I was still a student by that I had that much of freedom being that.

I don't want to do this exam. I don't I don't I don't!!! Please let me live life a bit longer. I don't want to do this. I hate feeling this way. I want to cry. Why doesn't anybody understand?!?!?!

I am finally big enough to do what I want, but not lucky enough to be able to do it! Life, thou art a heartless bitch!

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Is there something wrong with me?

When its high its extremely high
When its low its extremely low
And if ever it strikes a balance
Life gets too boring for me handdle