Friday, 25 September 2015

40 Reasons Why I Love You

Bubs, I know your life is busy, but just for a few moments, stop, read and absorb each one of these.

I know I don’t always tell you, and sometimes I hurry about my day and forget to show you.

So, listen carefully and hear my voice as you linger on each one.

Please. Let the words sink in.

And know this. I will love you, always.

Because….

1.     You are a happy person. You are always with a smile on your face and you love to make others happy. Nothing makes you happier than making others happy. I cannot tell you in words how awesome that makes you.
2.    You are interested in everything. You know random facts about random things and you want to know more. Being interested in so many things, makes you all the more interesting.
3.    You see the good in everyone. You understand that no one is all bad, and you always look for the good side in everyone you meet. You don’t judge people, and you always believe that just because people do horrible things it doesn’t make them horrible people. You always believe that people would have a good enough reason and give them the benefit of the doubt.
4.    The little things count a lot! The opening of the car door for me, or holding the door open for me to walk in, or pulling up my chair for me to sit. No nothing goes unnoticed. They mean a lot to me.
5.    You never fail to surprise me. Be it by sending flowers to work or showing up at my door step or planning some random date night; you always put a smile on my face no matter what!
6.    You earnestly care! You look after me. Especially when I’m drunk. You will carry me up the stairs if you have to. You’ll bathe me and put me to bed. And you will not make me feel ashamed of it.
7.    You might not always understand me or my decisions but you will always support me and be there for me. Like if we lose a cricket match you won’t understand why I am so upset, but it won’t stop you from bringing me strawberries to cheer me up; or when I am working in Badulla even though I know you would prefer me being in Colombo, you don’t make me feel bad about it.
8.    Your smile. It’s contagious. I can’t help but return it. And it makes your eyes twinkle and it makes you look super cute. Every single time you smile it makes me want to kiss you. Even thinking about it makes me smile and, makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. Mwah!
9.    How you get excited about little things. Anything slightly different form ordinary, you would find it cool. And you will be fascinated about any small gadget. I find that super cute.
10.  You are the sweetest and one of the most thoughtful people I know. You always think of others. Your thoughts might not always be right but you most definitely always care!
11.  You believe in me and always want me to do better. Be it at work where you would push me to be extra ordinary or by wanting me to learn to drive and cook and be independent.
12.  You are my happy pill. No one makes me as happy as you do! You always want to make me happy and see me smile. The irony is that you don’t even have to try. You just being there is enough to put a smile on my face and make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. You treat me like a princess even when I look like a beggar.
13.  You have faith in us. Even though I have stumbled at times you never swayed. After all we have been through, you still believe in us.
14.  You want me to know you and you show me you. You opened yourself up, cracked your heart wide open and you allowed me in. You want me to know everything about you, what you do, how you feel and anything else.
15.  You are my person. My best friend. If I am in trouble you’d be my first call, if I am upset you’ll be my crying shoulder, if I am overjoyed you’d be my celebratory partner. You are the first contact in my speed dial and my emergency contact at work. You are my source of joy in the good times, refuge in the time of need and comfort whenever the skies are grey.
16.  You are spontaneous and full of crazy ideas and you always want to try something new. I love that. You are adventurous and fun. Life is full of fun with you in it. No matter how crazy, stupid immature your ideas are, I always love them; and I’m always up for doing it. Unless it’s drugs :P
17.  You teach me something new every day. I might not know much about things like you do, but I am always up for learning.
18.  I feel safe in your arms. I know you will protect me. Your arms; It’s my favourite place to be. I trust you with my life and with my heart. And I know you won’t let me down.
19.  You are funny. I love your sense of humour. Your lame jokes. I know they are lame and stupid but they make me laugh and it just makes you look cuter.
20. You are smart and intelligent and really good at what you do. You are also humble and modest and like it when people think you are not smart.
21.  Your kiss still does crazy things to my insides. And when you touch me, I forget that the rest of the world exists.
22. We are a team and you are truly my partner in everything that we do.
23.  We are stupid with each other. Having names for each other. Inventing our own games, countries, groups, laws and whatever else.
24. I feel like I have known you my whole life. And I love how you know me even when I struggle to know myself.
25. You are present with me, and you absorb me completely. I love how I miss you the second you leave, and even before sometimes.
26. You get mad at me when I question your love. Because it frustrates you that I would ever question how devoted you are. I love when you tell me you have never loved anyone else as much as you love me. I believe you. I believe it all.
27. You forgive me for everything that I have said and done that hurt you and never mention it again. You are amazing like that.
28. We imagine this wild and wonderful future together. And then we make plans to make it happen.
29. You push me to think deeply about who I am, and what I want and believe, and why.
30. You challenge me to rip down walls, take away the mask and be honest with myself.
31.  You taught me to realize everyone alive has the power to inspire meaningful change.
32. You showed me it’s better to be an idealist than a cynic.
33. You make laughter an instant vacation and you give me serenity in the midst of struggle.
34. You love to travel, explore and discover. And now I’ll never have to travel alone!
35. You love nature. The greenery and wild animals. And more importantly camping trips.
36. You love art. Just that in itself says more about you than I can explain.
37. Your values. They just make you the most amazing person alive.
38. I am more myself when I am with you than I have ever been on my own. And the most memorable days of my life are moments that I have shared with you!
39. Even though you have left me a couple of times. You have always come back! If you love someone set them free they say, and if they come back they are yours to keep. So this time you are here to stay!
40. And…. I love you because I LOVE YOU!

 And if you ever forget, please my love, return to the beginning and read again!


P.S The reasons mentioned above are in no particular order. Just my flow of thoughts. And this is by no means an exhaustive list. Time constraints made me stop at 40. I could have written for hours!

Thursday, 3 September 2015

Thank You

I guess I was wrong!
I don't think you even know it
But
You were there for me after all :)

Just talking to you makes all the difference...

You're Not There When I Need You The Most

You can't be there for me! Yes. I heard it the first ten times you told. I get it. We broke up. And it hurts too much, so you can't be there for me. Well guess what?! You are not!

Yes, every time we talk I say I'm okay. I'll say I miss you and that you're always on my mind. But that's all you know.
I know you miss having me around to share things with and it's hard for you too. But for me apart from having to live life without you in it, I'm going through so much more!

My brother is migrating and it is kind of a big deal for us. I know it probably doesn't seem that way for you because both your siblings are abroad and you're used to it. Well none of us even have gone abroad for studies so it's going to be a bit of adjusting for us.

At least aiya going abroad we saw coming. We were preparing ourselves for that. Now on top of that my dad will be working abroad.  Something that is really hard to swallow for most of us. He is the one who keeps us all together so not having him around is going to suck.

To top it all off we have to now shift out of our house by the end of the year. Imagine trying to find a house by that time? Shifting without tha and aiya. My mother started crying when she heard this, saying it's all too much for her.

No, you have no idea what it's like for me. One of my best friend is going through her own share of shit and the other is migrating to New Zealand. So they have enough to deal with on their own. You're the only other person in the world I'd like to share my problems with. But you're just not there!!! When I need you the most, you're not there.

I can't help but think of what that horoscope dude told your mom. That I will be going through a  really bad time and that it will help me if I'm with you. Maybe it's pure coincidence but it makes total sense atm. I have a lot to deal with and I'm broken into pieces. And you're not there!


Wednesday, 2 September 2015

I'm losing it

When things are so bad
That you can't even write
You know there is no coming back!

Hate you?!

But how could I...
You taught me better!